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You Have to be Kidding

Thursday - 02/25/2021 — For some unknown reason, I signed up to get periodic emails from Family Handyman Magazine. Some of them are useful, many of them are fairly interesting, but some of them are simply ludicrous.

Like this one, for instance, that admonished me to get into the habit of regular house-cleaning. They even provided this handy-dandy chart.


Maybe if I were in charge of cleaning somebody else’s house—and that was my only job—I might follow such a regimen. My friend Marcia and I were laughing a week or so ago about the dust buildup in our respective houses. I even wrote a note to her (“Hi, Marcia!”) in the dust on my bedside table, took a photo of it, and emailed it to her for a chuckle.

This list says I should dust my ceiling fans every Thursday. I think maybe I dusted them last summer sometime. Or maybe it was the summer before. And wiping down the walls every Saturday? Come off it. I truly do have better things to do with my time. Like reading a good book. Or writing these daily memoirs. Or talking to my granddaughter. Or brushing Fuzzy Britches. Those are the important things.

What’s important to you?

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I once joked that the only time I cleaned house was when company was coming. A soon-to-arrive house guest, or hosting of book club or bunco would trigger a cleaning binge. Now that we are in a pandemic and no guests have been here for almost a year, I discovered it was not a joke. Cleaning is on the "emergency" plan. Science projects in the fridge or bathroom can trigger some action. Nothing else qualifies as an emergency.

As for your list: Really? Who generates daily trash? Your suggestion of reading a book is great!

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Glad to hear such a rousing approval of my (lack of) cleaning plans, Marcia. I'm much the same as you -- upcoming guest = cleaning/tidying -- pandemic = none.

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